


The Best Falcon Shrine

by Scotland_Axel (orphan_account)



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-31
Updated: 2018-01-31
Packaged: 2019-03-11 19:49:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13531317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Scotland_Axel
Summary: "Your mother thinks she can put together a better Falcon shrine than I can and I will not be outdone. I am your husband. I am the biggest Falcon fan, and I will die on my grave proving it to her. I know the risks are high, she may never bake me my own personal pan of her sweet potato pie, but this is a hill I am willing to die on.”“She’s my mother, Steve. She should be my biggest fan.”“You take that back right now, Samuel."





	The Best Falcon Shrine

“Steve, this has gotta stop.” Sam says, leaning against the threshold to the guest room walk-in closet, and watching Steve crouch low to perfectly position the new Falcon Funko Pop he just ordered.

Steve looks up at him over his shoulder and asks innocently, “What? Oh,  _ this?” _

“Yes,” Sam waves a hand to encompass the whole room,  _ “This.” _

“Sam, you know I can’t. Your mother thinks she can put together a better Falcon shrine than I can and I will  _ not  _ be outdone. I am your  _ husband.  _ I am  _ the  _ biggest Falcon fan, and I will die on my grave proving it to her. I know the risks are high, she may never bake me my own personal pan of her sweet potato pie again, but this is a hill I am willing to die on.” Steve declares dramatically and Sam rolls his eyes.

“She’s my  _ mother _ , Steve. She should be my biggest fan.” 

Steve gasps and glares at him, “You take that back right now, Samuel. I  _ Am _ your biggest fan. I’ll just have to prove it to both of you. Just wait until Darlene knows I’ve acquired the very first Falcon action figure ever to be mass produced.”

Sam raises his eyebrows, “What? How’d you do that?” 

“It’s not worth much yet, they only started production on your action figures like three years ago. But, I found this guy who has it on Ebay and he’s willing to trade it for a pair of my underwear.” Steve says, apparently having no problem with anything he’s just said.

Sam asks, “Are you sure this guy isn’t Hydra trying to get your DNA through your boxers so they can clone your patriotic ass?” 

Steve frowns, “Huh. I didn’t think of that. It’s too late though, I already sent them in the mail. And so’s the action figure. I’m tracking it, it should be here in two more days.” 

Sam shakes his head at him and Steve happily turns back to his shrine, smiling proudly. 

Sam crosses his arms and says, “You know sometimes it feels like you love the Falcon more than me.” 

Steve snorts and raises an eyebrow at him, “Oh  _ really,  _ does it? Cause last time I checked it wasn’t the Falcon I was fucking into the mattress last night.” 

Sam flushes hot and Steve laughs. “Shut up.” He says, and leaves Steve to his stupid Falcon shrine. 


End file.
